Saturday 4 February 2017

Category: 'dafuq just happened?'

The strangest thing happened during work today and I can't get it unstuck from the grey goop that is my mind.
   I work in a shop and inevitably end up having checkout duty. So far, so good. I've had some very interesting discussions right there at the checkout desk but I have to say... I didn't wake up this morning expecting to FUCKING SMELL A CUSTOMER today. I swear, sometimes my job... hands me the weirdest situations to deal with.
   A dude is going through checkout, he's just payed for his stuff when he suddenly goes "this is an odd question but do I smell good?" No shit Sherlock, it's odd but I can't be arsed to feel embarrassed in these situations so without hesitation I leaned in to smell him. He smelled good. I asked him if he had a new perfume on. "Yes!" he beams (and it's a very nice smile) "It's pine!" I'm enjoying the moment we're sharing and the golden opportunity to take the piss out of him that has presented itself when I realise that the other 10 or so customers (try 20, it was a Friday afternoon) standing within earshot of us are all giggling (and are also waiting to pay for their shit and leave), but again: I really can't be arsed to feel embarrassed. Besides, I'm having too much fun. I wish him a very nice weekend and he leaves, still smiling.
   I fucking live off of these moments. People are generally just a bunch of bastards but there are still individuals that spin shit into gold. They make up for all the other crap I have to go through.
   GOLD I'm telling you.

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