Sunday, 31 May 2015

Underneith the blanket all is well

I have a sort of "art" page on DeviantArt.
I say "art" page (with quotation marks added) because it's mostly fan-fics from way back when I was a hormonal Potterhead teenager as opposed to the feminist Potterhead adult I've become of late. Aside from that there are some pictures of my early outfits for the Medieval Week. I don't update very often these days because... reasons. Most of them ridiculous. I happen to be a bit of a perfectionist, and also I'm an insecure person and compare my work to other's to the point when I'll just give up on creativity altogether and go sit in a corner with a blanket over my head.
In the last month my pageviews on said "art" page has gone up about 140% and although I should be excited I'm essentially just embarrassed. All there is in my gallery is badly written fan fiction that I'm itching to rewrite and poorly sewn dresses in cheap materials. How am I supposed to be proud of that? I have a few new dresses lying around I should take pictures of, so why don't I? Well, that's because I want them to be part of an outfit - a completed outfit. I should be happy that more people find my page but frankly, I'm panicking. I'd like to think that I've improved since I submitted my first material in 2009; my first dress in 2011; and my first fan-fic in 2012 but as of today I don't feel I have proof of that. I'm putting unnecessary pressure on myself and I know it. I just can't help myself.
I'll go hide under a blanket now.

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