This was me, 2023

 I entered the year with one single thought screaming though my brain like a man on fire: "I HOPE TO ALL THE GODS THAT THIS'LL BE THE YEAR WHEN THINGS DON'T GO TO SHIT. PLEASE AND THANK YOU."

...well. I'm not dead. So I'll say that's a win at least.
Whatever. Lets get down to business.

   We mourn the loss of the incredible Sinéad O'Connor, Tom Wilkinson, Andre Braugher, Tina Turner, Ryan Siew, and Barry Humphries. Thank you, you'll be missed and you'll be remembered.

   As for the rest of this Year Review I'm going to keep it short and sweet because this year has been somewhat of a mental car crash with some glitter sprinkled on top to make it look appetising.

Two gingers in a mirror

   During the best annual bookworm event, Bokrea (book sale), a total of six new friends joined the ranks of the home library. However, because of how the economy seems set to starve us of everything beyond the bare basics of surviving, these literary friends are very nearly the only books I've managed to aquire this year. However, since I haven't had time to read as much as during the 'Rona Years this might actually be a good thing - it forces me to read what I've already accumulated.
   This doesn't at all mean I haven't treated myself to experiences that'll take my mind off of how terrible the world is.

   Henry Rollins was punk rock personafied when I saw him perform his spoken word show, but sadly, Dylan Moran lived up to the Drunk Irishman prejudice.

   2023 was the year of me experiencing a wide array of my favourite bands; Faun, Raised Fist, Electric Cowboy, Mimikry, Ice Nine Kills, LOK, Perkele, Fit For An Autopsy and Whitechapel were all guests of my wonderfully ugly home town of Göteborg. For the first time since 2019 I was finally feeling physically safe enough to travel which meant that I not only went abroad but also went to my first ever music festival - GRASPOP. It was huge. And amazing. And fantastic.

   For Midsummer my best friend threw a Hobbit Party, and what a party it was! We ate ourselves rotund, played games and laughed all the while enjoying each others nerdy costumes. As for all other national holidays, and my birthday, they were nothing out of the ordinary. Still hate Krimmus.

   This year I've ended unsatisfactory relationships and made way on other, hopefully more felicitous ones. I've discovered more about myself in relation to others and taken a hit or two to the heart along the way. Honest communication and expressing my needs have been both supressed and forcefully unearthed themes that'll have to live with me and seriously develop further in the next coming year.

 
Best of 2023 experiences:

Movies: I haven't been to the cimena even once this year but I've paid through the nose for several streaming services and so I hereby give you my favourite discoveries - Bullet Train, and The Gentlemen.
Shows: "Last of Us" has had me gasping all year. Pedro Pascal is a treasure.

Books: I read 53 books during 2023 and managed my goal of reading more litarature by non-male authors than the other way around. I was gifted "Legends & Lattes" by Travis Baldree for Krimmus last year and the story was so sweet and tender and just lovely. "The Girl With All the Gifts" by M.R. Carey had me reading at all hours of the day in anticipation for what was going to happen next. I continued the Between Earth and Sky series by Rebecca Roanhorse with "Fevered Star" and I loved it. I was absolutely in awe of Brian McClellans "Sins of Empire". The continuation of Wayfarers; "A Closed and Common Orbit" by Becky Chambers was fantastic and by the end a real tear-jerker.

Events: I've drastically upped my amount of social interactions; parties, concerts, dates, several beer festivals, Graspop, the Midsummer Hobbit Party, a book expo, all the while also managing to consistently work out. I bettered my personal best time running a 5k and feel stronger than I've felt since I was in my early twenties.

My hopes for 2024 are legion,

but I would like it if things just worked out.

A very Hobbit-y Midsummer

   This year, for the first time since I was in my early twenties, I had enough time off from work to be able to attend some sort of Midsummer festivities without stressing myself to bits. My best friend arranged a LotR-inspired potluck in her garden for which ten happy nerds turned up. 

     In proper hobbit fashion we were absolutely drowning in good food and good drink. Pictured below is most of the food we had to choose from (key word: "most of"). After all the food it's Swedish tradition to play games and be silly which we obviously did with gusto and to our great joy one of the nerds had created a LotR-themed game especially for the evening - a version of "Toss the Dwarf" obvisouly. 

I'm eternally grateful for my best friend for lending us her garden to meet up - it was lovely seeing friends, dressing up and stuffing my face with good food. Some of these nerds I haven't seen since High School, but we're all still basically the same lil' nerds/misfits as back then.

This fucker right here

   This past DecemberI was looking around for conserts to attend during 2023 because like so many others I wanted to make up for the Covid years when we couldn't attend... anything. In particular, I was looking to see Amity Affliction or I Prevail and LO AND BEHOLD - I stumbled over Graspop where both bands were planning on making a performance.

   Seeing as I've never been to a music festival I found it ludicrous that I would even consider going to an event not only abroad but also attended by over 200 000 other metal heads. Going through the rest of the line-up I realised that I actively listen to nearly 20 of the performing bands.

   Did I want to go? Yes. Did I hesitate? Yes. Did I finally buy myself a ticket? Also yes, with a whole lot of encouragement from my friends.

   Did I go? Hell yes.

Did I enjoy myself? HELL YES.

Do I want to go again? Also yes, but with a few but important corrections to my luggage and food plans. Lunch and dinner was never a problem at Graspop, but pickings were slim when it came to breakfast for us vegans...

   Favourites included Architects (basically a religious experience), Hollywood Undead, Motionless in White, Fever 333 and Amity Affliction. My camp gets a bonus gold star simply because it was nowhere near as nasty as I thought it would be. Four day festivals are brutal though and, as expected, hella expensive... 

   ...I wanna go again.

Go home, you're drunk

 

  Yesterday, my best friend and I went to see Dylan Moran. This'd be the third time we did that, but this time we changed it up a bit by having good food and great cocktails beforehand. For what followed I really needed those cocktails.... and then some.

   Because as Dylan Moran drunkenly writhed around on stage and started wailing off tune to the clinking of a keyboard we could just look at each other in pure confusion.

   It was awkward as hell.

   I feel like I might have needed to be at least as drunk as he was to enjoy his We Got This. I'll willingly admit to enjoying him so much more when he was searingly bitter but sober. At least then he could remember his script.

Save us 2021...

   ...you're our only hope.

   I'm not the first to admit that 2021 didn't have much competition from its most recent predecessor. The bar was set so low... and yet... here we are at the end of 2021 and what happened to that bar? Well, for the first six months of the year we certainly didn't go to any bars. (Well. I sure didn't. Because I'm not an unempathetic asshole.)

   Not wholly unexpected, we lost a few important people, such as Christopher Plummer and Helen McCrory. The legendary Richard Donner. The passing of Una Stubbs hit me hard. Ed Asner. Michael K. Williams - fucking hell, only 54 years old he was. Speaking of passing away way too young; Keiko Nobumoto. And then the very much problematic but nonetheless legendary Anne Rice moved on. As did the feminist icon bell hooks. BETTY WHITE ❤️  

   Thank you for all the good things you've given us.

• 
  

  Perdibird at Kryptonite made it pretty

     My intense series of tattoo sessions continued in January, carrying on work on another HHGttG tribute on mah butt. Well. It's on my hip out towards my butt... In February I let another artist at the same studio go crazy on my ribs. And again to finish the rib piece in April.

•    In May I had another two sessions booked - at first one more in Gothenburg to finish up that butt tattoo and then I went on an adventure down to Halmstad, just down the coast from my beloved city to start the painful process of getting my stomach decorated with something pretty.

   I feel like I might have officially gone from A Person with Tattoos to A Tattooed Person. A small but significant development by my standards.

   I like it.

•    By April I had already unlocked the achievement "10k in under 70min" I had presented as a challenge to myself at the start of the year; by which I mean that I actually ran 10 km in under 70 minutes. 64:30 to be more exact, which was way better than I'd hoped for for the first time I ever managed to actually run 10k.

   Believe me, I was as astonished as anyone.

   Surprisingly, I also went on a few careful dates with (unsurprisingly) varying results, but no results anywhere near the butterflies and pink goggles variety.

•    June was terrible. Thoroughly.

   People all around seemed to think covid was over just because restrictions were starting to get rolled back. People really are staggeringly fucking stupid, but I finally got that much wanted first vaccination shot in July - go me! and got nothing more negative than some headache and an arm that felt like it'd been through a fistfight all on its own without involvement from any other part of me.

• 

  Piece done at Bishop's Electric Tattooing

     By August I was exhausted and needed a week of being on holiday just to get the hang of being on holiday. August was also the month of not going to the Medieval Week because covid sure had a field day with the tourists on Gotland right about then (as it turns out the Medieval Week, funnily enough, was entirely spared the covid plague which goes to show history nerds learn from the past). So I didn't dare go and stayed on the west coast (Best Coast) for the most part, but also went up to the Capital for a bit to visit friends. Back on the west coast (Best Coast) I went to a few heavily restricted parties, read books, visited museums, finished my stomach piece, got stabbed in the arm a second time and was thrilled nonetheless. 

Halloween party like it's 1921!

   September was birthday month! 

   I'm finally a Hobbit of age!

   33 years old and still kicking.

   Woop!

•    Covid restrictions were completely lifted in September and while I stayed cautious I need to collect my nerds around me, so I started doing just that more and more.

   Autumn was strange and flew by in a blur while I tried dating again and I still think dating is the weirdest thing. Social anxiety just adds another spicy layer to everything, amirite? However, cinemas were opening up again which meant that I could finally dive back into the Marvel universes, and boy! Them universes be wild!

   December was as awful as always.

My dislike for Krimmus lives on unmoved.

And then Covid restrictions were reinstated.

   But I persevered. Until I couldn't. I was completely decked over the New Year celebrations. No covid, just the common cold, but it was my body's response to having been too busy for too long. 

Best of the year:

Movies: Because of covid I didn't get the opportunity to see 'Just Mercy' in theatres in 2020 but I caught it on HBO the second it landed there and holy shit I wish I'd seen it in theatres - SO GOOD. Once cinemas re-opened I watched 'Dune' and didn't even manage to finish my drink because I was so enthralled by the film. 'The Harder They Fall' was a Netflix premiere and it was AWESOME. The MCU delivered us 'Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings' and then 'Spiderman: No Way Home'.

Shows: I giddily discovered Letterkenny and The Rookie this year. The new seasons of The Handmaid's Tale and The Boys were a bit of a letdown though, while Fleabag was sweetly sorrowful, but also hilarious - a genuine recommendation.

Books: I've had a number of fantastic reading experiences this year. Continuing on the Newsflesh series with 'Feedback' by Mira Grant was a worthy ride, let me tell you. 'Monstrous Regiment' and 'Going Postal' by Terry Pratchett were fantastic. 'The Bear and the Nightingale' by Katherine Arden was lovely. I made time to re-read 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' and for the duration of the first three books it's still the most hilarious stuff; beautiful nostalgia all round... just don't ruin your Guide experience by reading the rest of the series. Please? 'Cry Pilot' by Joel Dane was a 5 star-experience, as was 'The Starless Sea' by Erin Morgenstern. I adoooored 'The Vanished Birds' by Simon Jimenez. 'Karen Memory' by Elizabeth Bear and 'Queen of the Tearling' by Erika Johansen were both deep in the land of 5 stars. The classic tale by R.L. Stevenson about the duality of man; 'The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde' is brilliant, and I was equal parts mesmerised and fucked up by 'The Echo Wife' by the amazing Sarah Gailey. I ended the year with the fantastic 'The Hollow Places' by T. Kingfisher and 'All Systems Red' by Martha Wells - both gifted to me by my best friends (oh, how I love you).

Events: Tattoo bonanza! Vaccination time! My ginger flat mate have learnt to put up with forehead kisses! The River Thames is no longer considered biologically dead! Experiments to neutralise nuclear contamination has been proven successful within the radioactive exclusion zone in Chernobyl. NASA has created oxygen on Mars which takes us one step closer to be able to bunch all narcissistic billionaires together and shoot them into space to exile them on Mars... humanely.

   The question remains; what happened to that low bar we set for 2021? I'd dare say that it got even lower for my faith in humanity. I know I said it last year as well, but people suck. I shouldn't expect anything good coming out of people with the past years' experiences to judge from, yet I persevere persistently to expect some basic human decency and receiving none of the sort. I am an idiot.

   But an idealistic leftist idiot I will remain. There is nothing else to it. I have no other choice.

   Next year is fucking election year and I already know deep within my bones that it's going to be beyond terrible. This fact obviously makes it even more important to gather my nerds around me and make good memories - long hugs, lots of kisses, grand movie experiences, delicious foods, nectarous drinks, hypnotising books...

   And guys, we survived 2021. I spoke to strangers. Those were my goals for this year and I made it.

We made it. We lived.

Maybe that's enough.

Holiday time

 FINALLY.

   I've been on holiday for a week already, but it's only now that I can actually feel myself starting to relax. I needed this so bad. My plans are to remain in my PJ's, read books, eat yummy foods, and meet friends. I might drink a beer or two. Run a few miles. Might not do that in my PJ's but will definitely return to PJ's once running and being in pubs is done with.

   No stress though. Because I've got three more weeks.

   Stay safe my friends. Be careful and get vaccinated.

I got poked

 

   First one down. One to go.

   Get vaccinated ya filthy animals.

Holy shit y'all

   I didn't actually think I could do the thing, but I did the thing. 5k in 30min. That's the goal I set, but didn't think I could reach, this spring when I started running. Without Zombies, run! it would have been unthinkable and without a kick in the butt at the gym entirely impossible. This feeling is exhilarating. Revivifying. I met my goal for 2020 y'all. Holy shit.

C-c-c-changes...!

...or no changes at all?

   Things seem to be returning to normal, but not really, and things are weird, and the world is shit, innit? I'm trying my best to stay positive and keeping up my energies for the entirety of this last week of work before I'm going on vacation. No Medieval Week this year since they've gone digital (I might listen in on a few lectures, haven't decided yet). I'm planning on meeting up with friends, we might enjoy some table top gaming and I might enjoy a laugh and a beer or three. I might also enjoy a whole lot of sleep. And books. And crisps. And comics. And stuff.

   In short; I intend to try and meet up with people during my vacation. It might prove to be a somewhat shortsighted and selfish decision in hindsight, but since I'm not planning on having any organised orgies with total strangers I'm pretty much convinced that it'll be fine. I need to be with my people. My nerds.

Backbreaking work

"Brutal".
   That's how I'd describe getting the backpiece done. It's nothing I'd like to do again, because PAINFUL, but then on the other hand I kinda don't have much room now... The piece is colourful and lovely and sore and sweet and finally fucking finished after yesterday's grueling six hour sitting. (I am going back to fill in the tree one more time because apparently I bleed a lot in the neck area, so that's not going to be fun...)

BUT LOOK AT MY LITTLE PIECE OF HOBBITON:

by the super talented and super sweet @filthyswede

Soooo, I wonder what the next one is going to be?

NEW TATTOO

HEY GUYS. I'VE GOT A NEW TATTOO GUYS. LOOK AT IT GUYS.

JUST LOOK AT IT.

Work by @filthyswede, Liza Nordqvist

Next time: colours.

Feeling the fall

I be orange now. It feels... good actually. Cool.

A green hobbit

There. Back to green. Feels like coming home.

VACAY BABY

   Vacation mood. Before me lay four weeks of vacation time. Time off. Time for me. Time to breathe. Do whatever I feel like doing.
   It's been a day and a half and I'm already feeling restless. I really needed this though.

OFF WITH THAT HEAD... of hair

   I got my hair cut off. It's shorter than it's been in six years and I'm enjoying myself. I'll admit it's a bit hard to get used to since it's a lot shorter than I expected it to be, but the feeling was like getting rid of a warm beanie. Or a thick wig. Not at all unpleasant.
    Besides, playing with different expressions of femininity is so much more fun with short hair. Also, I'm lazy bastard and long hair is a friggin' nuisance.

It's party business, precious

   Having been to New Zealand I'm now fairly certain it doesn't actually exist on this plane of reality. I've just spent ten days nerding around the north island and everything feels like it was designed in a computer to be plopped down in the middle of the ocean. Or maybe we went, Bermuda Triangle style, through some portal and ended up in some wonderful Fantasy Land. It was somehow too beautiful to feel real.

   We did Auckland (with a very jet-lagged visit to the Auckland Art Gallery, and Auckland Zoo) - Waitomo Caves - Mata Mata/Hobbiton - Rotorua - Wellington (with Te Papa, Weta Cave, LotR film locations along Hutt Valley, and Martinborough wine country) and it was all great. What will always stay with me though is the tour we took through the Hobbiton Movie Set. It was nothing short of magical. I was right: I cried. Like a fucking baby.

   I've petted a wallaby and an emu, I've seen glow worms, I've had ale in The Green Dragon, I've spent hours in hot mineral baths, I've been to Rivendell, I've talked to a whole bunch of nerds at Weta Cave, and I've had a veritable shitload of great wine. I've cried from joy and from frustration, and I've been surrounded by the most otherworldly nature I've ever laid eyes on.

   But listen, since New Zealand is quite exactly on the other side of the planet it will at its shortest take us Swedes anywhere between 27 and 34 hours single trip to get there depending on layovers and such. It fucking sucks. My butt still hurts. To add insult to injury, my lightsaber key ring kept getting stuck in security and so I decided to leave it behind. Also! Try and be a vegan tourist and see how much fun it is. I'll tell you this much; you have to like coriander.

   Was it worth it? Absolutely!
   Will I ever do it again? Doubtfully.
   Do I want to do it again? Why yes precious, I do...

a Green Mess

Woke up like this. And then stayed in my PJs all day. Because fuck it.

I AM THE NIGHT

I've got new PJ's and feel more not-really-an-adult than I've felt in a long while. It's great.

It's the little things

   Ever since I was thirteen I've wanted some sort of X-Men tattoo in general and the classic X-logo on my hip in particular. At the end of last year I made a promise to myself to not get another tattoo until I'd made a rather life-altering decision that would probably lead to a bit of scarring on my belly. As I didn't know just how much scar tissue it would  involve I figured it would be no more than logical to wait with the tattoo until I knew for sure.
   Now I know (very little scarring) and now I have my tattoo.
   Time to move on to bigger projects.

Halloween funsies

   This weekend it was finally the time to get my spook on and let my inner forest sprite out at a Halloween party. I went dressed as a huldra - managed to finish the dress and everything! But I did give up on making it any more complicated than necessary. 

   I had so much fun guys.